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February 01, 2005
Two Inches of Kim Jong Il
First a nuclear arms program...now a hair trimming campaign? Yes, and it even has a catchy name: Let's Trim Our Hair According to Socialist Lifestyle.
North Korean dictator and Team America antagonist Kim Jong Il has ordered all males to trim their hair to a minimum of two inches in length. Never the hypocrite, Kim even cut down his own stylish pompadour to conform to the new government fashion.
Why all the fuss? Kim believes that long hair blocks oxygen from entering the brain. Plus, short hair fits in with his "songun" or "army-first" policy.
There are exceptions of course. Women, as the obviously less intelligent sex, can still flaunt their long hair. And elderly men are allowed an extra 4/5 of an inch to hide their baldness. Bring on the sexy combovers!
No word on whether there will be any legal/life-threatening repercussions for the bold & shaggy, but public derision is almost certainly guaranteed.
Posted by Michele at February 1, 2005 11:35 PM
Comments
Looking at that photo, I'm thinking that if you straightened out his hair and measured it, you'd find it was longer than 2 inches in some parts. What a hypocrite.
Maybe the real reason behind his new stylish 'do is because he's very "ronery" these days and wants to pick up some young North Korean chic. Speaking of, Michele - aren't you North Korean? Maybe you could give him a call.
Posted by: dabombfrog at February 2, 2005 12:07 PM
I'm NOT North Korean, but I must say, Kim is looking pretty damn fine with his new 'do and smokin' hot Ray Bans...for a dictator, of course.
Posted by: michele at February 2, 2005 02:54 PM
he is just "3 lines shaved on the side of his head" short from joining the Vanilla Ice fan club! or is he really just lonely?
Posted by: cootie girl at February 2, 2005 09:28 PM
I wonder how you say "give me a red hot fade please" in Korean.
Posted by: amy at February 3, 2005 09:25 AM
Michele, it really warms my heart to see you regaining interest in your Asian heritage. After all, isn't that what provides the basis for your lovely website?
Posted by: Abby at February 3, 2005 10:44 AM
