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November 15, 2004
My Weekend of Intra-Apartment Adventure
For the past few weeks, I've been getting a gusty draft in the window right next to my bed. In such instances, I usually opt to ceaselessly complain to anyone who will listen about this problem, but this weekend, I decided to complain, and then actually do something about it.
So I went to the new Home Depot on 23rd Street. Stereotyping the help, I set out to find a handy middle-aged man (race not an issue) with the experience to advise me with my draft problem. Apparently, every other customer was a bigot too, for I couldn't find a freakin' unoccupied person who fit my profile. Forty-five minutes later, I gave up and decided to confront a teenage lad.
What do ya know? He told me exactly what I needed - a Windown Insulation Kit - and even gave me the extra boost of confidence to install it myself: "It's really easy to do yo."
So I journeyed home, and around 11:30 p.m., decided it was a fine time to begin the installation process. First, I had to outline the window with double stick tape. In doing this, I was forced to raise the blinds, and thus, expose myself to all of Orchard Street. I'm sure the two bouncers across the street found me smokin' hot in my mismatched flannel pajamas.
Next, I stripped off the top side of double stick tape, and gradually began affixing the garbage bag-like plastic over my windows, making sure to keep wrinkles to a minimum. Finally, if I didn't look crazy enough, I had to take a hair dryer and blow it over the entire window's surface, ensuring the bond and killing all final wrinkles. I'm sure you can imagine what an ass I looked like. At least I was warm again.
On Sunday, I opted to stay in and save money. I turned on the tele and proceeded to flip through about 920 channels, until somehow, I landed on CMT. CMT, as in Country Music Television. While I don't dislike country, I wouldn't normally consider myself a fan. Yet sometimes, I find myself strangely drawn to it. I guess it's a jungle fever of sorts.
The Top Twenty Countdown was on, and I thought I'd check in to see a few videos, then move on. Four "Shania-filled" hours later, I shut the damn thing off and cooked dinner.
Country music is full of talented people, but the question remains: Why is there such a gender dichotomy? The women of country are thin and gorgeous; in fact, I've yet to see an unattractive one. They're a superspecies of twangy Barbie dolls unto themselves. Yet, most of the men look like they just got their ass kicked at the local rodeo, after an afternoon of wild hunting and boozin' (see Toby Keith). Why is this? If there are any country lovers out there, please explain.
Home repair, country viewing. For a second, I almost felt like a red stater. Almost.
Posted by Michele at November 15, 2004 10:52 PM
Comments
Is that Keith Urban in the picture? He's my favorite country hottie.
Posted by: Anonymous at November 17, 2004 04:03 PM
Yeah, it's Keith! Good eye Anonymous...
Posted by: Michele at November 17, 2004 05:35 PM
so how did the home improvemnets go? are you warm and cozy now?
Posted by: cootie girl at November 19, 2004 10:56 AM
